The 120lb dilemma . . (spoilers?)

    So I recently watched Legion, and it was a pretty good movie. Not the best thing ever made but it was watchable in my opinion. There was one scene in that movie that made me laugh so hard that I almost peed my pants.
     There was a scene, without giving too much away, where a couple of hours before this scene one of the side character's husband was pulled out of the window, to be lost to the horde of Angels outside. She was upset, naturally, and was inconsolable. Next scene it showed everyone sleeping and, as these things happen, the widowed wife was awakened by a slight call that only she heard, with wife hearing maybe.
     She gets out of her makeshift bed, as they are all in a diner for the whole movie, and goes to a back room. When she looks out of the window above the door, that they nailed wood in front of and slid a desk in front of to keep the baddies out, she sees her husband and, gasp, he is ALIVE! (cue angels singing haha)
     Well of course, even though Micheal told her he is lost, she is overcome with joy and starts to take the things from the door to go outside to get to her man! Well in this process one of the other male 200+ pound characters wakes up to her loud wood removing, and tries to tell her that that is the wrong thing to do, as the things outside are trying to kill them all, and opening the door might be a bad idea.
     Not hearing any of this, gasp, she begins to almost get the door open and the man decides he has to save them all to stop this poor, psychotic, grief-stricken women from dooming them all. So he steps in to stop her, and she tosses her aside like a sack of potatoes.
     Not just pushed back, but this woman slams him to the wall with such force that he is dazed and looks like he might be knocked unconscious from her shoulder block of doom. The women continues on and removes all the things and is about to open the door when another, 200+ pound man comes in from all the commotion and sees what is going on, assesses the situation, and grabs the women with both arms in a reverse bear-hug, seeing the obvious weak man dazed on the ground.
     Again the women sheds him like a light jacket, and tosses him back. The women then opens the door and runs to her husband, in the process getting someone killed, like we were all shocked at that happening.
     Now this is what made me laugh. Why is it in movies, NO ONE, and I mean NO ONE, can ever stop the crazed 120lb woman that is trying to get to whatever the bad thing has done in an effort to save whoever. When that woman sets her mind to it, not even Chuck Norris, Steven Segal, and Jet Li could stop them.
     I know we are suppose to think maybe she is just running on pure adrenaline and has the care lifting strength at that moment but come on people. No one can stop these crazed women? I mean it seems that these women can't run for crap when it comes to getting away from the bad things, but come hell or high water, they WILL toss aside things to doom everyone to get to that object of desire.
     The remake of Dawn of the Dead sort of had a scene like that except the idiot in that movie jumped in a truck and tore ass across the parking lot of zombies for her dog. Then refused to come back when she got the damn dog, because she was scared.
     I do not understand these scenes. I mean obviously they drive the plot forward or set up the next death for another character trying to save their dumb asses, but they just make me laugh. Now to be fair women are not the only ones doing this in movies. Men have done it too.
    It just seems the parts with the women are more ridiculous because not 10 minutes before they were calm, collective, and cool people that knew badness was upon them and they had to do whatever it took to survive.
     My favorite of all these comes in a video game, Dead Rising. I know this is just a game but this is funny. This time it involves a 70+ year old lady trying to find her dog. The whole first scene is nothing but her looking for it, as the rest of the people have barricaded themselves in a mall, Dawn of the Dead style. When this grandma finally see's her dog it is outside, so immedately she starts to open the barricade to get to her dog. About three people try to stop her, she throws them off. Two people try to hold the doors closed while she opens it. In the end the zombies get in the mall and she gets eaten.
    Here is a link to that video. About the 4:40 mark is when it happens. I laughed so hard when I first saw that. NO ONE can stop this woman. Women power is deep and scary. Fear them when they are scared or want something, but not when they run. They just trip and fall and hold everyone up then.

Can't we just be kissing right now?

     So I decided to get back on the "bandwagon" if you will and try this whole dating thing again. Something about my failed marriage kind of scared me with trying to date again, that and I have issues with even looking at myself let alone someone else do it.
     There is just something about this whole starting over thing that just scares the crap out of me. I guess because I was in a relationship for those five years, one kind of gets comfortable with things. Now I have to basically start over from square one with meeting people.
    It kind of scares me because now I have do all that getting to know people thing. I often think of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, season 6, when Tara and Willow are trying to get to know each other again after Willow went all crazy and messed with her head. Most of the season, after the whole Willow is an addict thing happens, is just those two trying to rediscover what made them attracted to each other, and both feeling maybe they have messed up beyond repair for the relationship.
     In the end Willow is just trying to play is safe and go slow and it is Tara who comes out and says how there is so much they have yet to do. How there is so much trust that has to be established just so they can be happy together. Then, in my opinion, comes the best line from their whole relationship. Tara says all that, making Willow sad, and end it with "Can't we just be together again? Can't I just be kissing you right now?"  
     Which leads to kissing and them getting back together, until Tara dies in the next episode. The point is sometimes I feel like that. I know that relationships are hard at first. That you have to build up who you are to each other so the sparks, if they will, will fly. Thinking about doing that just mentally wears me out.
     The main problem with all this is the games people tend to play when the first round of dating starts. You want this person to like you. You want them to look at you and me happy they are with you. So you build yourself up to them. You play games and what not that in the long run of the relationship you think back on saying "What was I thinking??". Which is inevitably how all relationships end up. You have to reach that comfort zone with people that you can be yourself and they still like you.
     I know a lot of my friends are thinking that relationships are not worth all that hassle, but I am kind of a romantic. I believe that two people can be together, make each other happy, and compliment each other to the point that you are happy with them. I believe this because no matter what anyone says, I think it is ingrained in our minds to be with the opposite sex. If for anything other than just the natural drive to pass on your genes.
     Yeah we have made relationships a lot of badness over the years, and sometimes I wonder why people are even in them, but in the end I think that our brains need them. People, or me at least, feel odd not having someone there to tell about the good times or the bad. People want someone to ask them how their days went, to listen to them complain about how life is going against them, or even give them support for said life.
     The point I am making is that it is a lot of work, in the beginning, to get someone to like you. You have to be the ultimate person, or think you do anyway. People are rarely themselves when it comes to dating. The small things that make a person who they are, are usually left out. So you do not get a complete picture of the people. I wish it was possible to fill out a resume of sorts saying this is me, this is what I like to do, this is how I do things, these things might get on your nerves later on, and these things I think you will like.
     With something like that two people could maybe skip the awkward beginning and in effect just get to the kissing. Not to say I think that relationships should immediately be physical. That, I think, should also take it's time to a natural progression. No matter if that is two months or two days, that kind of stuff happens with it happens. The point I am making is all this dating stuff is wearing away at me. I want to be myself but, of course, can we really be ourselves in the beginning? I would like to think so, nay, I would like to hope so. Maybe I can tell someone who I am and not have any weirdness? Maybe I will be alone forever in trying that? Only time till tell.

    

The Beginning of the End

So I decided to start a Blog. I know everyone settle down! I called it Aux because that seems to be my life here lately. I figured that I could put up my triumphs and defeats for ALL the world to see, wont that be GRAND. Let us start from the beginning, all about me.

For starters I am divorced, take notes there will be a test. It was not my idea to get a divorce, as we had a son together and I went through that when I was younger, but she felt she was not happy with me. Later on I found out "not happy" meant she was cheating on me, oh women and their wiley ways.

Last October my 5 year marriage came to an end, much to only my dismay. I was hurt and all that wonderful stuff but I got over it, well I am getting over it. The main goodness that came from that marriage was my son, Connor, whom I love with all my heart. Well of course I love my son! What kind of a bastard does not love their kids? I guess anyone could back up that statement with a quick trip to youtube, but I digress. The point is that from that divorce my life has been throw into a shambles.

I had to move back in with my dad, at the age of 31. Something I do not mind, but at the same time I do mind. You know what I am saying. I have a crummy job that only works on the weekends it seems. I am overweight and I smoke. The main good thing to come of all this was I stopped drinking dark full of sugar goodness Pepsi. I made myself like Diet Sierra Mist. I have to work on the rest of those things in my life as I tend to like to do things like, be with women and what not and a fat slob is not going to cut it. So yeah I am not perfect, sorry. I know you all were hoping maybe I WAS, but I am not. I have decided to work on this though, and this is what I am going to tell the world.

I am going to turn my life around. I am going to stop being the "friend guy" and be the guy that girls like. Of course I am still a big nerd, that is never going to change. I want to be myself again. I want to wake up and not look at myself in the proverbial mirror and be happy with myself. The main assertion I have to do it exercise more. I started last year but when the cold hit I just became a hermit and stopped. I intend to correct all these things and more.

Here are a few things about me. I do like the nerd things. I watch things like Doctor Who and Lost. I read comics and play video games. I LOVE a good Zombie movie, even the bad ones that make you want to cringe they are so bad. A thing that attracts me to a women first is her eyes, I do not know what. Eyes or hair color. I have a thing for redheads, shocked I know. What else can I say. I am a good listener. I am a very laid back person. Not much gets to me on a personal level. If it does I can usually shake it off and keep going with my life. Internet people make me "LOL" all the time.

Seems a day does not go by that I am not just flabbergasted by the stupidity of people and how they can

mess up their lives so completely and badly. Well it is 4 am and I have a day of exercising to get to, so I will end

this. I hope that we can all be civil and friends here. If not the LET THE GAMES BEGIN! lol.